then get thee to a nunnery. And it's all your fault, Jared Flood. That's right, Jared, I blame you. Before you I was happy to maybe embark on one of her patterns for some baby or two. Before you I wasn't interested in how she made knitting as we now know it. I would have been content with some Mason Dixon crack like I've been on for a few weeks.
Then you came along. If it wasn't for your gorgeous photos, your Elizabeth love played out in effortless and perfect knitting, I'd certainly have far fewer projects on the horizon. Don't even get me started on all your handsome man knits and your impeccable finishing touches (leather buttons!) that upon viewing makes me feel an incredible urge to make that right now. Because sitting in front of a fire or walking the streets in machine knits seems unconscionable after looking at your originals. Uh huh, that's right Jared Flood. 'Cause no I didn't ignore the beeps of the waffle iron and the unbeaten egg whites and my husband and child for your archives and Flickr pages this morning. No, I'm not smitten with you and no, I don't want to marry you. And no I'm not going to go swoon some more over all your creations. No. I'm not. No, I'm not running out to Barnes and Noble to get Elizabeth Zimmerman books right now in the snow. No I'm not.
Oh, and Jared, one last thing, thanks for being my friend in Ravelry. I know it means more to me than you, but you are my McKnitty. Sigh.